Sunday, April 6, 2014
AMA: Anth 249 birth edition!
This is the blog post for the Ask Me Anything thread on birth experiences. My friend Lara has agreed to be our AMA participant -- I'll let her introduce herself in the comment thread. You can ask questions, respond or react to answers, whatever you think appropriate. I'll give you guys until midnight Wednesday to weigh in. Lara isn't required to answer all of your questions, and she's plenty busy, so may only check in once a day. Be patient, and, I hope, enjoy!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hello! Kate generously asked me to participate in this open forum, birth story blog. After experiencing the complexity of birth, I enjoy the opportunity to talk about it openly. As Kate stated my name is Lara, I am a mother of two boys, one born on December 21, 2008 (I was 29 at the time), the other born on May 29th, 2013 (I was 33 at the time). I had very different birth experiences. Arlin, my first born (after looking back) was very text book. My husband and I decided to take the Bradley method birthing classes to prepare for our first, this is a 12 week program really encouraging natural childbirth and I feel we could not have had the birth we had with out the preparation. I was in labor for 10 1/2 hr from first contraction to baby on my chest. We labored at home together for as long as we felt we could. Arlin (we later came to realize) was not in proper position, causing serious back labor, but also afforded us a little more time before pushing. We arrived at the hospital at 10 cm, in about 2 hrs after arriving he was born. I did not have any drug interventions, we were able to have a natural childbirth as hoping. With our second, things happened much faster. I was anticipating a shorter time frame because it was baby number two but not as short as it ended up! Berk arrived in 3 1/2 hours from first contraction to chest. This time things got really exciting. I delivered Berk in the car on the way to the hospital, so we had a natural childbirth as hoping but in very different circumstances. Alright that was not very brief but, ask away!
ReplyDeleteHello Lara, thank you for sharing your experiences. I was just curious as to why you chose a natural birth over having other medical interventions. Also, did your opinion, and preference, of having a natural birth influence other factors such as diet and exercise while you were pregnant?
ReplyDeleteOnce I got pregnant I began to read, research, and learn and I felt that for me, my body, and baby I would do all I could to have a natural birth. I also tried to balance that with the understand that I would not be able to control the entire process, meaning if intervention was needed I would not decline. I am also a fairly head strong person and once I put my mind to something, I'll be damned if I don't try every angle to make it happen! I also felt that being pregnant and having the opportunity to participate in such a global experience, something women have been doing for ages, I wanted to trust in my body and give it the change to do what it was able to.
ReplyDeleteI made diet changes and modifications the more I learned. I was also on the cusp of learning about local food sources, organics, and growing my own food. This all impacted my diet during pregnancy and nursing.
Hi Lara,
ReplyDeleteI am curious as to if you have spoken much with other mothers who had drug intervention when giving birth. Have you compared experiences? Are there similarities or differences that you have found between your birth and others who did not go the natural child birth route? Also this is not a very scholastic question per se, but when you gave birth in the car, who was driving and how did they react? Was there anyone in the back with you? That is so crazy to me, I do not know how I would react in a situation like that. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us all.
-Rachel
Of course. Its hard to convey over e-mail conversation but, I want to stress that I am not anit-intervention. I think there is a time and place for medical intervention and yes it can save lives. I am a proponent for each patient, birthing mother to be treated as an individual and not lumped into a specific category that automatically results in intervention. I have had a handful of friends that now have children and many of them ended up have an epidural for various reason that prepared for natural childbirth. And we have had extensive conversations about our births and I try not to compare, but its human nature and can be hard to avoid. Most of my friends that had birth stories that resulted with intervention had an initial period of disappointment followed by a healthy understanding of the necessity of the intervention. But I think it would be hard pressed to find a woman/mother that did not feel in some capacity no mater how small an intervention may have occurred, that they could have done something different to change the outcome of their birth.
DeleteCar birth, my husband was driving. He has the ability to remain very calm in somewhat stressful situations. I was in the passenger side front seat ( the back was full of car seats). I knew the baby was coming as we were backing out of the driveway. Our son was born on the corner of Oregon and Vine, about 5 blocks from our house. In the moment, I guess I felt prepared to handle what was happening. I will have had extensive wilderness training that I am sure helped subconsciously. I was also glad my husband Phil kept driving and did not try and get in the mix. More hand would not have been helpful. He was a little guy, 6lbs 12oz and I made sure he had open airways and held him close to my chest.
Hi Lara!
ReplyDeleteYour experience with birth seems to have been really powerful and positive. I was wondering if possibly you had any regrets about choosing to birth the natural way, or if though not really regretting any decisions, you would have changed anything about either birth (other than getting to the hospital more quickly). Thanks for sharing your experiences with us!
-Mackenzee
No regrets, birth has a way of happening how it will. Babies make most of the decisions at that point! Honestly as we began to prepare for our second child we talked extensively about what we would do differently and we did not come up with much. We both felt very positive about our first birth story and lucky that it happened they way we were hoping for. We continued to take diet and exercise seriously and being a natural birth fan, I love that I can remember how I felt, the trajectory of the births, the ebb and flow of pain, all of that has been imprinted into my mussel memory.
DeleteHey Lara!
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking time out of your schedule to read and respond to some of the questions our class has. First off I think its pretty cool to say you had a child in the back of a car, thats a story that would never get old! I was just wondering if the 12-week program you participated in prepared you for everything. Meaning, were you surprised about anything during the labor process, or do you feel you already knew how to handle the situation to allow it to pass as smooth as possible. Also, do you feel that baby #2 came smoother than baby #1 when it came to pain with the contractions?
Thanks,
Dominic
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteSorry, I was trying to edit and deleted the whole post. I will try again. The Bradley courses gave us lots of great information. We really had not spent much time engaged in the birth process up until we were expecting our first child. The course enabled us to birth at home unassisted and confidently, to me that was the goal. The course also combined homework, reading, and group discussion. All effective learning tools for me, I could not just plant myself in front of a stack of books to absorb it all.
DeleteMaybe this sounds counter intuitive, but short births are often emotionally harder to process. I have a good friend that had her first in less than 3 or 4 hrs and she found this very challenging because she was expecting a specific trajectory for her body to take and her baby was in the world before her mind could catch up.
Regarding the pain, it was consistent. I did not have the extensive back labor as with our first but it did feel like by back had mussel memory of the event. I did have a better understand of what contractions would be and feel like, almost making it harder because I knew what was to come!
Hello Lara, thanks so much for spending the time to respond to our questions. The Business of Being Born, the documentary we watched in class, made natural birth seem significantly easier and more transformative than hospital birth experiences. I know the main question I had was how long on average does the natural birth process take, as the women really seemed to have spent less time delivering than hospital births. You said your second child took much less time to deliver so I wonder is that a relatively universal experience? In response to your child being born in a cab, that must have been a high stress situation for all involved including the driver!
ReplyDeleteNot in a jerky way but no birth is easy. Your body and babies body is working really hard. And as I live longer, transformative experiences are by nature personal. For me a natural birth was incredible transformative but, I in no way feel my experience is a measure for anyone else. Having also watched that documentary, in about my third trimester with baby #1 (not recommended), it got me. I was terrified of the hospital and what someone might make me do. It really made me consider a home birth which is illegal in the state of Illinois. Thankfully my husband was not super hormonal, and has a good head, I felt like we made the best decisions for us combining laboring at home and hospital. I have to say all the midwives at Carle respected our birth plan, respected us, and we had a really positive hospital experience. I in know way felt like I missed out on anything less transformative. As far as an average birth time, our first was short to average at 10 1/2 hours. Because of this our midwives made sure to inform us that our second birth would be faster. Once you have had a baby it is more common that your second, third,etc birth will be shorter/faster. Delivery place in relation to the time it takes can matter. but I also know women you labored had home for 50 plus hours and those who labored for much less in a hospital. Also, our second son was born in our car! Lucky no cabs were involved.
ReplyDeleteHi Lara! Thank you so much for taking the time to answer our questions here. I have always been terrified of giving birth (even with an epidural) and am intrigued by your experiences. I have another question about the Bradley birthing method. Did you find that the classes you attended assisted you in avoiding some of the complications involved in first births, or just birthing in general? Were you planning to have a birth in a hospital before you watched "The Business of Being Born"? I most appreciate your statement about letting your body do what it needs to do. Did that mind-set help you or motivate you through any labor pains? Also, in terms of talking with other women about their experiences, do you find that many women had trouble with hospital births because they were uneducated on the various interventions methods used in hospitals? Thank you again for sharing with us!
ReplyDeleteMy best friend is in the terrified camp, I always try to talk her down by reminding her that woman have been birthing babies for many, many years. You are designed to do it.....doesn't mean you have to but I'm just saying!
DeleteThe classes were really focused on natural childbirth, specifically partner coached childbirth. It was introduced in the 70's, a strong movement to get at that time "husbands" back in the birth rooms. Also a focus on diet and exercise to help guide the pregnancy process in a healthy direction which lowers the risk of complications when it comes to the birth.
I was not totally convinced I wanted to spend much time in hospital from early on. What I really wanted was a birthing center. Something in between. Because that was not an option for us, we came up with our combo meal plan. Labor at home for as long as we could/felt safe and then go in. I really had it in my head that the birth clock would start as soon as we arrived and I did not want to give anyone any reason to think intervention should start based on time.
I think it did, I also learned some calming exercises and mantra that I leaned on. There is always going to be a part in any labor called transition. Its the hardest, shortest part and that is when most women totally want to give up. I too had feelings of not being able to see the process through but I was with my husband/partner, sitting backwards on our toilet seat, he was timing contractions (had been all night), and he was a big confidence boost. We were dug in at that point and even if I wanted drugs they were not an option. You do get in your head, so telling myself from the beginning I could do had to have helped. I also don't give up to easily by nature, I like a physical challenge. I was a long time athlete and backpacker. I can only speculate that all those life experiences helped.
When talking with other women about birth, I have learned to keep most opinions aside because it is such a personal journey but what I do plug is education. I think the best preparation is knowing about the birth journey, knowing how a body will perform, and understanding unexpected things can happen. I think the education piece allows you to feel more in control of decisions when it comes to intervention. No one likes feeling like someone else made a decision for them especially when it comes to something as personal as birth.
Just chiming in to say -- these are all such great questions! And Lara, you are the best with your insightful answers!
ReplyDeleteHi Lara! I've really enjoyed reading this conversation so far. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us. I'm still a bit curious about your 12-week birthing class. What is it exactly that you were taught that prepared you to possibly give birth at home without assistance? What's an example of something you would have to know that most mothers wouldn't know in order to do this? And having experienced two births, is there anything you know now that you wish you had known before giving birth? If you could go back in time and tell your past self one thing to prepare, what would it be?
ReplyDeleteI hinted at some of the preparations the class focused on in the previous post but I will try an give a more detailed list here. The class really educated me on the process from start to finish meaning diet, exercise, and relaxation as a pregnant person and then learning what a labor "looks" like from start to finish. Detail like how long and far apart should contractions be, how will they progress, what will your mood be like along the way. What signs will your body be giving, for example the release of the mucus plug or identifying braxton hicks contractions. We also had homework that we discusses as a group and did actual relaxation exercises with our partners as part of the class. I will say the class is not designed to encourage home birth, but natural birth. We made the decision to labor at home and felt like we could do this safely because of the class but also because we did not live far away from the hospital and if an emergency did arise we got get there in 5 min tops. I do wish I had more post natal care. I think this is something that is seriously lacking in birth education. We have gotten significantly better at prenatal care but taking a new baby home is almost scarier than the birth process. It is also extremely hard being a new mom if you want to continue to work, heal, and balance the many things that fill the plate when a new baby arrives. I do wish I would have insisted in more self care and not get sucked into the idea that I was fine, and could just jump back into life as we knew it. Its worth looking into how other cultures help and support new moms, and families. Culturally we are pretty crappy at it (my opinion).
ReplyDelete